have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize