you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
