She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
