Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
