after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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