He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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