I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
