ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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