In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
