THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
