my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
