i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize