Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize