im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
