Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I think I am morally bankrupt
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
