Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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