So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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