you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
