what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize