is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
nutella sex= disaster
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
