I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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