nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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