I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
