where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
