Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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