She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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