I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
