i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
