On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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