Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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