My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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