no you cant smoke seaweed
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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