There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm at about main and main street
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize