I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
