I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
