So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize