two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
