you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
