I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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