In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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