you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
