walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
