just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
