I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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