Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize