So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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