So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
