My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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