I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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