And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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