..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize