we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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