i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
