Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Quick, to the slutcave!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
