I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
