my phone needs a breathalizer
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
