nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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