It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize