he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
