just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
