Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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