I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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