I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
