I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Randomize
