I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
