I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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