Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We got so high we made milksteak
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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