I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize