His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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