MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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