Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So here I am, sexting at work.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
