I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
