My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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