Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
