You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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