Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
